The Great Underpants Mystery
by Karasu-kun
Summary: Oh no! Whatever will Zelda do? Someone raided her underpants drawer and took every single pair! Who will help her in this time of need? Why, Link of course! The young fairy child will have to unravel the mystery of Zelda's missing bloomers. (Ch. 2 up)
1. Default Chapter

Underpants!

Chapter one

Disclaimer: I do NOT own The Legend of Zelda or anything related to Nintendo...n' all that jazz. If I did...Ganondorf would have had free rein over Hyrule! XP I suck, I know... -maniacal laughter-

Ooookay. This is my first shot at a Zelda fic...so why not make a spoof? Bash at me all you want, but please remember... I am a HUGE Zelda fan and I don't mean for this to be taken personally! It's a joke! So for those of you who CAN'T take a joke, don't read this. Thank you and enjoy.

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It was a beautiful day in Hyrule. The birds were singing, a lovely breeze was blowing through the trees, Princess Zelda was screaming, and--wait a minute? Zelda was screaming? That doesn't sound right! What could our princess be up to this morning? Shall we take a closer look?

"M-m-my...underpants are gone!" cried the young princess as she frantically ran through the castle announcing her dreadful loss to all of the guards and other royal staff who exchanged quizzical glances before staring at the screaming princess as she passed.

"Her...underpants?" one whispered to another.

The other guard simply nodded, his eyes closing as he replied, "Yes...Simply horrendous. So horrendous, that we might have to send Link on a mission to find them...or so his majesty says..."

The first guard twitches slightly, "Surely you're not seri--"

"Hush... The princess is in a time of peril! We must respect her in this time of need with silence." said the other as the princess scuttled past again, the king waddling behind her retreating figure.

"Tis the king!" one of the distant guards shouted and the rest of the guards stood at attention, as their king spoke.

"This truly is a time of great misfortune!" the king bellowed, his fat belly jiggling slightly as he talked. "My dear princess..." he continued, "...has lost...her underpants!" the king said melodramatically.

The guards gasped, staring wide-eyed at the fat king as if he had pulled down his pants and mooned them all. –That- would truly have been even more so horrible than the fall of Hyrule, but for one reason or another, Zelda losing her underpants was _much _worse.

"That...That's horrible, sire!" uttered one of the guards in sheer shock, as the other guards whispered amongst themselves, saying things of the same nature, some more shocked than others, the _some_ of them being the most air headed.

"What ever shall we do?" one asked as the guards were finally silenced.

The fat king stood for a moment, pondering deeply for an extended few minutes; much too long for such a simple thing, "We will... Board up the castle doors; put the horses into their stalls and board up the barn, and tell everyone to stay in doors! For this is a time of great loss, fellow Hylians! We must take action before the same fate that has fallen upon our princess comes upon us as well!" bellowed the king as his attempted hand movements almost knocked him over and sent him rolling down the hall. Luckily he had wonderful balance, despite his ridiculous obesity.

There was an awkward silence in the moments after, soon to be broken by the large doors of which opened to reveal a familiar figure, the shadow trailing into the long hall. The guards stared in awe at the figure, awaiting his hesitant entrance.

To be continued

XD I was terribly bored when I wrote this... -snickers- Chapter two should be up soon. Please leave all reviews at the door before you leave.


	2. And so the quest begins

Oh, fun... Chapter two. Haven't really gotten into the adventure part yet. XD Suppose I ought to, huh? Not in this chapter! XD

-Chapter Two-

The doors of the castle loudly shut behind the small figure that entered, and all the guards stood at attention as the little hero of Hyrule passed them, turning their heads to watch as he approached the king, his big blue innocent eyes giving him nothing short of a questioning look.

"...What's going on?" the boy inquired in a small voice.

The little fairy that was accompanying the boy withdrew from his green hat, hovering wildly around in the air, "Link, you oblivious blonde! Did you not hear the princess screaming from outside?! She's lost her--"the fairy was hushed by the king's voice.

"Oh Link! Thank goodness you have come!" the king said in a booming voice that resonated throughout the entire castle.

The fairy child winced; falling back onto his bum due to the force of the king's bellowing voice. "...What happened Mr. Zelda's father?" he asked cutely.

"Princess Zelda has lost her...underpants." The kind repeated to the child, bowing his head as if this were something terribly tragic. The guards let out another dramatic gasp as if they had heard if for the first time.

Link watched the king for a few moments and then slowly stood, the fairy buzzing around his head furiously, "What the--? Her underpants!?" screamed the fairy.

"Navi..." said Link, "Panties are very important...though I dunno why, but they're important alright!" he said, giving the fairy a knowing look.

Navi simply huffed and swooped back down into the child's green hat, not wanting to have any other part of this. It was then that the king spoke and Link was sent to the floor yet again.

"So, Link... Would you be so kind as to do the princess a favor?" he asked, not giving Link any time to say yes or no. "Would you please go out and find the princess' undergarments... for if you do, your reward will be grand!" shouted the king, as if this was some type of important speech.

The fairy child stared up at the king, ignoring the fact that he couldn't even see the guy's face... I mean, if one was to sit down and look up all you would see is layer upon layer of blubbery fat that toppled over one another. But Link nodded in agreement, almost hesitating to stand again, fearing that he may be knocked over. He dusted himself off and smiled, "Don't worry Mr. Zelda's father! I'll find Zelda-chan's panties!" he said with a look of sheer confidence, although this mission was stupid and pointless; he was but a mere child and knew no better.

"Ah...good. Then run along now... we all have a lot of work to do..." the king said as he slowly turned and waddled back to the throne room, letting out a rather loud fart just as he shut the door behind him. The guards turned their heads, drawing their hands over their noses in disgust.

Link merely blinked, then turned to leave, but ran smack into princess Zelda, sending him and her back onto the floor. Link rubbed his head, looking over to the princess, "...Zelda-chan?"

Zelda blinked away a few tears, "Oh Link! You –must- get my underpants back! I'm –nothing- without them!" he cried, hopping forward and clinging on to the boy's tunic. The fairy child pats the princess in a comforting manner, a look of determination crossing his face. He _had _to do this!

"Don't worry, Zelda-chan! I'll find your panties!" he said as he pulled away from her and got up, heading quickly for the door, "Nothing will stop me!" the child said as he disappeared out the opening castle doors.

Zelda watched after Link, a look of hope in her big teary eyes, "...Be careful Link..." she said softly.

To be continued...again

Still think I'm high on something? –snickers- If I'm not lazy, I'll move onto chapter three soon.


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